A guide to keeping our little toes in the sand

Sometimes it's difficult to figure out where your body is. 

You're at the sports bar with your buddy chatting up a few chicks, right? You decide to visit the restroom to check on your hair game.

You arrive in front of the mirror and take a first glance. It looks like a total stranger is staring back at you!

 

 

Did you ever even know what you look like?

Nature caving in on itself!

You decide to return to the bar in hopes the hot chicks distract you from your difficult encounter in the bathroom.

You hope to score the one with the a nose ring because girls with a nose ring is totally your type.

When you return, the chicks are giggling...

it seems they may have been talking about you while you were gone.

I don't think you'll be getting lucky tonight... 

You start to realize things. These  women have their own lives and are not just a character in your story? Super cool! I wonder if they can feel pain.

Did you know God is trying to teach you a lesson?

It doesn't even matter what religion you are.

It's universal! Let's reach within.

You have trouble empathizing with others.

I know this because your friends don't like you.

This is why you need to be removed from your body sometimes.

God doesn't want you to embarrass yourself any more than you already have. 

When you leave your body, God becomes the captain.

He steers you towards the right direction and scrapes the barnacles off the engine!

 

And you don't even have the decency to thank him because you believe in "science".

Have you ever considered that you might be a poser?

Your Grandma goes to church by herself every Sunday.

Finally, God hands back the captains hat. You remember that gravity works and your friends are real. Maybe you see something in a different light now.

 

Is girls with nose rings even a type of person?